Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Adventures In Moving Multiple Dogs

[I posted this on a forum I belong to, and it was requested that I post it here as well. ;-)]

Well, as many of you know, we are moving. Oh so much fun, right? Yeah, I hear ya. A resounding "No!" Especially when the animals get all freaked at the sight of boxes swallowing up all their familiar surroundings. I can predict how it's going to go, much to the hubby's chagrin, especially when my prohecies come true and I am moping while cleaning rivers of pee and bathing dogs constantly, all the while listening to a chorus of YIP YIP YOOOOOOWWWWWWLLLL YIP YIP SQUUUUEEEEEEEAAAAAAAK SQUEAK-SQUEAK-SQUEAK-SQUEAK YOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLL.

So the dogs are crated as we begin packing and moving things, for their own safety and ours. It began as I figured it would, with a resounding ((insert falling water sound here)). Wolfie lifted his leg (something he has only done 3 times in his whole life) onto the wall behind his crate, while he was in it. So I clean it up, then its back to packing boxes. Then I turn around and Isy has peed in her crate. She has developed quite the dislike for her new crate and for any type of training in general. Her favorite thing to do is her impression of a toddler--she just digs in her feet and refuses to move. If she doesn't want to budge, nothing will move her. No silly voices, no treats, no toys, nothing. Can you say "Diva?"

So we clean up her crate, and of course we now need to get in the tub. After she is squeaky clean and doing her best pitiful face and trying to snuggle into my neck ("Oh Mommy, don't put little cold, shivering me back into that cold, hard, terrible crate! I shall surely die!"), we pass by Wolfie, who is looking up at me quite defiantly, from among a puddle of pee. I SWEAR he looked defiant. So, muttering expletives under my breath, I put Miss Isy back into her crate. Mommy doesn't fall for the pitiful look. Wolfie HATES baths with the hose, so that's precisely where I take him, figuring it might deter him from doing it again. We clean the crate again, come inside, and I SWEAR to everything that is holy Isy was standing in pee. @#$%!&! ("Oh my goodness, I seem to have soiled myself, Mommy! Help me! Help!") Um yeah I think perhaps we need to deal with the unpleasantness of soiling our crate for just a few minutes longer. This displeases Her Royal Highness. She begins barking.

"Hey! Hey! HELLOOOOO! I'm in pee here! Hey!"

Long story short this has been going on since day 1 of the move. Isy and Wolfie are tag-teaming with the pee, and Isy decided she would throw in some poop for good measure. So I grab a newborn Pampers, cut a hole for her tail, and slap one on Little Miss Pottys-A-Lot's little naked heiney, put on some jammies, and shoot her the "Ah ha!" look in triumph. I go off to pack some more boxes. My victory was short-lived. On my next pass her diapers were hanging out from beneath her jammies. @#$%&!

I fix them, put her in some tighter-fitting clothes, and get back to business. Mommy is SO going to win. Of course those diapers are bone dry the next time I check. And the next time, and the next time. Oh and did I mention, Wolfie pees in the crate 2 more times that day and Isy decided to get mouthy while I put her diaper back on her prior to putting her to bed for the night? When a loud "AH!" came out of my mouth she gave me a backward glance as if to say, "But Mommy, I was just kiddding..." Uh-huh. Mommy doesn't play! Little turd!

I will be SO glad when we are done moving and everyone settles down.

((sigh))

Gotta love moving!

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